Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need a beard to bite.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
