He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
