Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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