Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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