his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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