Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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