I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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