You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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