oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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