"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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