What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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