Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
