i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Fuck appropriateness.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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