dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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