Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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