watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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