Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
