Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize