mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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