WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
