I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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