You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
