It's Friday. Sex?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
