Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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