I wish I only lived at night.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
