wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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