Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
