you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
