Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
