Where is the hickey?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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