you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
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The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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