M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
