he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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