Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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