That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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