How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
