By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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