My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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