i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
jump out the window naked night went bad
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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