sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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