So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
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We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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