and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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