Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
