More tranny stories later!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
