I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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