This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
