So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
