youre lurking in front of me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
