Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
