Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
