i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
