I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
