I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
