I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
