Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
