dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize