their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
