First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
