i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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