I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
