Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
